Spot the difference

Two pics of Adelaide Oval scoreboard: the one on left taken 11 November, that on right on 12 November.

The scores are diifferent, but what else has (been) changed?

More leaked correspondence: quickstepping Ramps considers his international future

Patrick Smith in today's Australian has unearthed (perhaps from the inner recesses of his mind) some correspondence about an England selection issue.

Extract

Hi Mum, it's Mark...just a little note to catch up.

Thought some recent headlines might have caught your eye. Those saying that I might be a chance for a recall. And even Mark Trescothick might get a job against Australia at The Oval. It is very flattering.

I spoke to Tresser about it yesterday. He isn't well. When he saw some of the cricket writers put his name up for a return, he fell apart again and God knows Mum he has had more breakdowns than your Morris 1100.

So it sort of got me to thinking Mum about playing in a Test match again. And I was wondering, if those awful tabloid people come around and ask you what you think of me getting back into Test cricket, could you do me a favour? Don't open the door. I won't be.

Mum, I know you thought I was the greatest cricketer since Dad but I wasn't really very good. Not in Test cricket. And I know you are very proud that I was able to reel off two centuries in 52 Tests but I did average only 27. I know you always say that it was still better than Steve Harmison but Steve wasn't a batsman and we are still not even sure he was a bowler....

Revised rules?

New rules proposed by an Indian blogger with, I think, tongue in cheek, though I'm not so sure about some of them, eg

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

Update later 9 January

In today's Age there's a Spooner cartoon (p13, though not online as far as I can tell) showing an Australian batsman grovelling before a weeping Indian player, with this text:

Kindness before cricket (An official amendment to the spirit of the game)

Section (axi): Whenever a team perceives that losing a match has caused or may be likely to cause, incredibly awful rage or horrible disappointment, then the match referee must instruct the insensitive winning team to forthwith surrender its advantage so as to accord the persecuted losing team a full victory and, where appropriate, an abject apology.

A good joke for the moment.

This comes via my mate Noel:

Billy was at school one morning when the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No," said Billy, "he plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

First Lillee, now Botham

After Dennis Lillee has expressed his opinion about the ageing Australian team, along comes Ian Botham comparing them to Dad's Army.

The photomontage of Warne, McGrath, Gilchrist, Hayden and Langer's heads superimposed on the bodies of the Dad's Army characters is great. Click the Botham link above to see it.